Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Funeral Details

Julie's viewing will be Friday, Sept 23 from 6 - 8 PM
Tooele 17th Ward building 
132 North 570 East
Relief Society Room

Julie's funeral services - Saturday, Sept 24 at 12:00 noon, 
with viewing prior to services 10:30 - 11:45 AM 
Tooele 17th Ward building
132 North 570 East

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

From Steve

September 19, 2011 

My beloved wife Julie Shinn stepped over the threshold into the next life at 7:02 this evening. I was there by her side, along with her sister Annamarie and her father Barry. After three months of watching her deal with this terrible illness, I am grateful that she was able to pass on to a better place where she is free from her suffering. She passed quietly and peacefully, at the end taking a long, deep breath and then just slept away. Julie endured well; she exhibited tremendous dignity and peace as she was given a most terrible trial to go through. She never complained. She never questioned “why.” She never became angry with God. She exercised tremendous faith and was a comfort and strength to us all even though she was very, very ill throughout the entire period. Julie was always concerned how other people were doing and dealing with her bad news and did all she was able to do to comfort and strengthen everyone around her. 

Service, friendship, a welcoming, outstretched hand, a good listening ear, and loyal companionship were her trademarks and gifts to us all. I am so thankful to have been able to share these past 15 years with her and I look forward with great anticipation to the time when we shall be reunited once again. 

There will be a viewing Friday, September 23 from 6-8 pm in Tooele. I have not decided on which LDS building it will be held at, so keep checking here. The funeral will be in Tooele on Saturday, September 24 at 12:00 noon, with a viewing from 10:30 – 11:45 am prior to the service. Again, the location is to be determined. 

Thank you again for your love and kindness. We really do love you all.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Update from Steve

September 18, 2011

Hi everyone,

Here is the latest update I can give you about my sweet wife. Julie has been unresponsive (but comfortable and not feeling any pain) since Friday Sept. 16. She is not able to communicate with us nor is she responding to any requests or outside stimuli. HOWEVER, I must tell you that she looks well; she is completely peaceful and has a glow about her that is comforting to us. Her face has relaxed completely and there are no visible signs that she is in any pain. I am so grateful that she is resting and will not have to endure that terrible pain any longer.

Julie’s dad and his wife are staying with us and I am pleased that they are here. I feel very bad for Barry (Julie’s dad) as he had to watch Julie’s mother go through a similar struggle with cancer when she was only 46. Having to watch his beloved daughter go through many of the same things when she is only 47 must be heart-wrenching for him. However, he is a strong person and having him here has been a tremendous comfort to Emelie and me.
Off and on this weekend we have had Julie’s brother and sister and their families visit her as well. It has been good for them to spend time with her while she is still with us and be able to express their love and appreciation for her and for the wonderful person that she is. Tonight we all had a delicious dinner together before everyone had to go their separate ways, but it was great to have everyone here.

These past few days I have spent a lot of time with Julie, just us two, alone in the bedroom. Even though she cannot speak and is not awake, I still feel her wonderful love, compassion and concern for Emelie and I in a very strong way. Sometimes I feel as if she is holding on just to make sure that we will be o.k. and that she has not left anything unfinished. I have assured her many times that, as much as we will miss her, it is o.k. to leave and greet her departed loved ones on the other side of the veil. It is hard for me to tell her that, but I know she needs to be assured that it is o.k. for her to leave and not have to suffer any longer in her diseased body. I have no doubt whatsoever that after her spirit leaves her body, she will be welcomed into the arms of a loving and kind Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ where they will tell her “well done, thou good and faithful servant.” Julie deserves every bit of rest she is entitled to in the next life, because she definitely has earned it here. 

Thanks again to everyone for your continued love and prayers. Our family has really felt these prayers and I know that your prayers have allowed us to continue with hearts uplifted and countenances cheered. We love you.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A slideshow of Julie's Life.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Another update from Steve

September 15, 2011


Another few days have flown by and we have been able to create some wonderful, personal memories for Emelie and me. Our deepest thanks to everyone for your cards, letters, and emails of love and appreciation for Julie. I have read each of them to her and she has acknowledged each one with a nod of her head and a smile. I am continually amazed at how many people she has touched during her brief forty-seven years of life. I am also contemplating how many more souls she will touch and inspire in the Spirit World where she will go next. I have no doubt whatsoever that she will continue on doing the work of our Father In Heaven to help, uplift and inspire countless souls in the Spirit World to come.

Julie is now in the final days of her life. Over the last two to three days her condition has continued to decline; she is in bed most of the time now, asleep or in a semi-conscious state. Her voice has been reduced to a faint whisper, and when she does speak, most of the things she says don’t make too much sense to us (although I am sure they make perfect sense to her!) Her nurse told me today that she will most likely pass away sometime in the next few days, with a week left at most. I cannot believe how fast the time has passed by since the onset of her symptoms in early June. Today, I spent many hours just sitting with her, holding her hand and saying nothing. Although no words were spoken between us, the love between us has never been stronger and I am grateful for these tender moments of reflection with her. Emelie came in tonight and sat and held her hand also which I know is a great comfort to Julie. Even though she is sleeping, I know that she is aware of our presence. Despite her condition, she continues to radiate love to all those around her.

Again, thank you all for your love and support. Please know that we love you and care about you very much. We trust in God and in His Plan and have no doubt whatsoever that Julie will continue to live on through the eternities. I just have to live the best life I can so I can be with her again, forever. I will do my very best to do so.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Update from Steve

September 12, 2011

Hello everyone,

First of all, I want to express our sincere and deep-felt gratitude to all of you that participated in any way in the fundraiser dinner last Wednesday at East Elementary.  Julie and I were completely blown away by how many people showed up from not only her school, but from our LDS stake and community in general.  The dinner turned out to be a great success and we will be forever grateful to this wonderful community for their love and support.  Julie was actually able to attend for about 30 minutes to try and thank as many people as she could.  I tried to talk her out of going, as she was in great discomfort, but I couldn’t talk her out of it.  When she makes up her mind to do something, there’s no turning back.  She really wanted everyone to know how much she loves them and how thankful she is.  It was heartwarming for me to see many of the kids currently at the school and older kids and their parents that have moved on to Jr. High and High school come up to Julie and express their appreciation for her.  We were truly moved and are extremely thankful to everyone.

I am writing this on Monday night, and the house is quiet.  At least I thought it was quiet.  I just got back from putting Julie back into her bed…she is getting her days and nights mixed up and I found her in the bathroom putting on her makeup and brushing her hair getting ready for the day.  It is 10:45 pm.  I asked her why she was up at this time of the night, and she said that she was getting ready to go to Emelie’s soccer game at 6:00 pm.  Bless her heart…when I told her what day and time it really was, she got this sheepish little grin on her face and she said that she had better put me back to bed.    It was a sweet moment.

Julie is sleeping a lot now, most of the time, in fact.  Her cancer is advancing rapidly, and the only way that she can truly be comfortable is to sleep.  Lab reports as of this past Friday show the cancer is moving into her vital organs, causing more discomfort.  This is so hard for me, as it seems I can do nothing except be with her and hold her hand and tell her how much I love her.  Julie has received many priesthood blessings from myself and others, and I know that she has been comforted deeply because of these. 

Because the cancer tumors are so aggressive, Julie and her doctors (and I) decided to stop her I.V. nutrition as of Friday the 9th.  It seems that any nutrition we were feeding Julie was just being robbed by the tumors and her body was receiving none of the food whatsoever.  No matter how much food we were trying to put into her, she was getting none of it and the tumors were the only things benefiting.  Additionally, her body just was not processing the food normally and as a result, the food was causing her more nausea and discomfort.  Since we stopped the feeding, her nausea and pain have greatly been reduced, so it seems like this was the correct decision.  Stopping the feeding will have no effect on her life expectancy, since for the past week or so she wasn’t getting any food anyway.  This was a very difficult choice for us; however, I want to reassure everyone that we are not starving Julie in any way.  The cancer is doing that.  I am comforted by the fact that her pain and nausea are FINALLY under control.  She is not aware that she is not receiving food through her I.V. tube even though I have reminded her each time she asks.  Her body seems to be so much more at peace with itself since the feeding was stopped.  Julie physically feels no hunger or thirst, for which I am very thankful. 
 
Julie’s strength and optimism are astounding to witness.  When she is awake and able to speak, she is always concerned more about everyone else than she is for herself.  She dictates long lists of thank-you notes she wants to write and asks me about how people in our congregation and community are doing.  

We had a quiet weekend for the most part.  It was good to have some “alone time” with Julie and just sit with her and hold her hand and not have to say anything.  Emelie and I both sense inwardly that her time here in mortality is becoming very short but also feel that she is fully prepared for the next life to come.  She is a remarkable and noble daughter of God; it is such a blessing for me to have the honor to be her eternal companion.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Update from Steve

September 4, 2011

Hello everyone,

Please forgive me for not providing an update on Julie sooner than this. As you can well imagine, my activities have been entirely focused on Julie and Emelie and I can honestly say that I have not had a chance whatsoever to sit down and write an update on her health until now. I hope you understand.
Julie has been on hospice care at home since her release from the hospital August 11. The wonderful people with hospice have provided a hospital bed and all the other accompanying items we need to keep her as comfortable and independent as possible. It is Julie’s strong desire that she stay at home the duration of her illness and I intend to honor her desire no matter what.

Unfortunately, Julie’s pancreatic cancer is spreading much quicker than any of us or her doctors could imagine. I asked her nurse today what the doctors are saying about her life expectancy, and they are telling me that she has “weeks” and at the most, two months longer to live. While this is devastating news for Emelie and I, we just want her to be as pain-free and comfortable as possible while she is still with us.

Julie is on a morphine pump which administers a constant dose of morphine into her body to assist in pain control. Additionally, she can push a button attached to the pump, allowing her to have more morphine if she feels additional pain. Over the past three weeks, we have had to raise her constant dose of morphine several times to keep up with her increasing pain. We are doing everything possible to keep ahead of this debilitating pain she is experiencing. Additionally, she has several anti-nausea medicines to help her cope with the terrible nausea she is experiencing from the tumors goofing up her digestive system.

Julie has not been able to eat or drink anything at all since the beginning of June due to the problems caused by her cancer. Currently, she is on I.V. feeding through a “pick line” which delivers nutrition into her bloodstream rather than into her digestive system. This seems to be working and is meeting her nutritional needs. I do not expect her to be able eat or drink normally again. We are thankful to be able to give her this type of nutrition here at home.

Now, enough of the bad news and technical information. However, I do want you to be informed of what we are facing here. Despite everything, Julie’s attitude is fantastic. She is upbeat, positive, and is determined to stay as independent and good-humored as she has always been. The heavy medication she is on causes her to say some funny things and we have a good laugh about them together. Julie’s niece came on Friday to highlight her hair, and she still gets up every day and showers and dresses herself as well as fixes her hair. She continues to be the spiritual center of our family and makes sure we do all we can to stay strong.

Julie, Emelie and I spend as much time together as we can. When awake, Julie is alert and able to converse normally, although again, she does say some odd things now and then. Our extended family, church members, friends and community have been a tremendous blessing to us and we are truly in their debt for all the wonderful things and service they have provided. We feel completely overwhelmed (in a good way) by the outpouring of love, prayers, support, and everything else they have given us during this difficult time. To each of you, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love and cherish you and appreciate you more than we can properly express in mere words.